Question marks

           ...If my future turns out to be shiny, she is guilty...

     Rushed. I pass as fast as I can over any damn day that steps into my way. I put to garbage all the rubbish stuff that comes into my face, one way or another, I shake a bit and take a glance at The Tomorrow. Could be something new then? Definitely not. Obviously, I start this shit all over again. Paved with plenty of morons and stupidity, my road through London jungle is "to be continued". The same obsessive routine, same streets, same "pub characters" day by day, same stupid jokes, same "dull" salad to be done, same morning ritual next to a colleague that is light-years far away from the term "reasonable".
     Tired. Tired of these hilly-billy "faces" that block my path daily, I search for my inner peace among my few trustful friends that left for me here. They're not too many, but I can trust them. Usually, when I have time, I give them a call or look for them on the internet, not to miss a thing. I don't know how much they are missing me though. Sometimes I feel like pet that looks for affection, that looks for a few minutes of playing and fooling around with his owner. Sometimes solitude really gets into me.
     Enthusiastic. In my foolishness that I begin to believe its part of me, to be more precise, coming from my heart, I think too much about "the chosen one". I'm getting lost in details, I complicate things when they shouldn't be, I trust in myself too much when maybe I should be more discreet. I would tell the story of my life to almost anyone, and that is not good at all. I realize it, but sometimes I lose my head. Missing those eternal "I love you" 's, tenderness and the huge responsibility, I think I'll embrace "whatever" and I'll let myself carried away...
     Endurance. I'm a tough nut to crack. I can face mental erosion. Maybe it's something I came with almost 27 years ago. Maybe it's from our people. Romanians can endure things that other find them difficult even to pronounce. Now I'm talking about something else though. As I previously said, I want responsibilities to fill my days, I want something to live for, to work for, to fully deserve. So I decided to register for Newham Classic 10k long run, that takes place in the 15th of April, this year, in West Ham Park. I need something to keep my aims high... no one in my heart at the moment to help. Just in my mind, in my feet, and in my... Lumix.
     The rest of it is hope...